Pam Makes A Call by MissRissa81 (One-Shot)

Pam Makes A Call

by MissRissa81

It was a Saturday night as Pam left the floor of Fangtasia with the perfect excuse to avoid the vermin, in case Eric asked. She sat alone at her desk looking at her list for probably the twentieth time, quite sure she hadn’t forgotten anything. This list was very important to Pam as it ensured that, no matter what, she would remain in control.

This year’s event will not be a repeat of last year she said to herself. First of all, no matter what Eric might have thought of Charlie Sheen, he was most definitely not to be invited, or to be involved in this year’s proceedings. He had almost ruined the entire night last year.

She was about to try and make contact with this year’s host, if all went according to plan. As she picked up the phone she repeated the mantra that had become her lifeline when dealing with unworthy breathers regarding her event. “I am Pamela Ravenscroft, progeny of Eric Northman. I am in control. This will go my way.” She tried to hold in her frustration as the phone rang. On the fifth ring she heard an unusually excited voice answering on the other end.

“Hello?” the voice said. Already Pam knew this was going to be a trying conversation; she just hoped that she wouldn’t upset Eric by draining one of the many fangbangers after she was done.

“Hello, this is Pamela Ravenscroft and I am trying to reach, um, the doctor?” She responded with some question in her tone; all she had been told was that he was a doctor, and Fairy had assured her that he would be a perfect host for this year’s awards.

“This is the Doctor,”

“Doctor who?” She really hoped to get a name so that this phone call would be slightly simpler.

“Exactly,” the voice returned.

“I don’t understand,” Pam replied, pinching the bridge of her nose, truly glad that neither Eric or Sookie was around to see her confused by this doctor.

“I am the Doctor, simply the Doctor. What can I do for you this evening Miss Ravenscroft?”

Pam mumbled to herself that she would drain Fairy if this was all an elaborate joke to humiliate her.

Hearing Fairy’s name the Doctor started reminiscing. “Ah, dear Fairy … I remember the first time we met. Sassy thing that she is, she took my sonic screwdriver then locked me out of My TARDIS. She wouldn’t let me in until I promised to come anytime she called me.”

Getting annoyed with this train of thought Pam interrupted him in a voice dripping with sarcasm. “How very nice for you. I’m not sure what a TARDIS is, but, I need a host for an awards show that I am putting together. I have it on relatively good authority that you may be just what I am looking for.”

“Oh I love awards, what kind of awards are they?”

“The Second Annual Fangreaders Awards; they are to honor the wonderful group of breathers who write fanfiction based on myself and others like me.”

“I see. And what exactly are you, Miss Ravenscroft? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I am a vampire and …”

“Ohh I love vampires!” He quickly interrupted. “I met a few in Venice not too long ago; lovely girls. They may have tried to kill my friends and me, but still, lovely misunderstood girls.”

“Yes, well, if this is something that you are interested in, I have a few stipulations and things that I need to discuss with you.”

“Yes,” the Doctor replied. “I am not a big fan of rules, but I am definitely in.”

Pam rolled her eyes at his excitement; he hadn’t even heard what all was expected and he was already agreeing. “Alright, the ceremony will be held on May 4th, 2013 at 9pm (GMT) at the King Felipe de Castro Theatre. It will be black tie, and you will be surrounded by Vampires obviously, Weres of all kinds, probably a few witches and wizards, and maybe even a few elves.”

“Brilliant, can I wear a fez?”


“How about a Stetson?”


“Fine, I’ll just wear my bow tie, ’cause bow ties are cool.”

Pam wondered if this doctor was insane. If there was one thing that she knew, it was fashion, and bow ties most certainly were not cool.

“Alright I guess it can be a black one, I could get away with a black one. You did say black tie?”

“Fine, whatever. Moving on.” Slightly irritated by now, Pam asked, “so Doctor,” (she rolled her eyes at the fact that he wouldn’t give her his name), “will you be needing transportation to our event?”

She waited impatiently as he took his time responding. “No thanks, that won’t be necessary, I have my own transportation, it’s kinda my thing. Plus I have to pick up a few special guests for the night.”

“You have just been asked to host, who could you possibly be bringing with you?” Pam’s frustration was now bubbling to the surface at this new information.

“Well if you were listening earlier I did say that I would always come when Fairy called. She and a lovely lady by the name of Jeca will be my special guests for the evening.”

“Fine. So you are to show up on time, sober and ready to go,” Pam stated quite definitively.

“What exactly makes you think that I would be anything but professional and prepared?”

“You’d be surprised what some people pass off as professional. Last year’s host was none of those things, and I am covering every possible scenario. You will be need to be here at 8pm for any last-minute preparations and alterations.”

She shuddered as she remembered last year for the hundredth time. Charlie Fucking Sheen; should have just drained him when I had the chance … but no, Eric liked him, thought he was entertaining. Thank all the gods that he lost interest and didn’t end up turning him, can you imagine an eternity with him as my brother? Pam brought herself out of her musings and back to the present. “So, Doctor, do you have any dietary preferences for the event?”

“I would very much enjoy some fish fingers and custard.”

“Eww, why? That sounds disgusting.” She didn’t even trying to hide her disdain at this point. No human food appealed to her, but that sounded vile.

“Says the woman who drinks human blood. Change of topic, are you aware that we have in fact met before?”

“Impossible! I have perfect recollection of every moment from the time I was turned, and we have never met, I can assure you. I call it my vault.”

“Oh, but Miss Ravenscroft, we have. It was November 12, 1872, you know? In Whitechapel. You were out, I believe the term is hunting, and you … er … mistook me for someone else. In fact TWO someone elses.”

At hearing those few words her face fell. She found herself remembering a night that she had purposely blocked out.


November 12, 1872

Pam’s POV

I was finally deemed ready for my first solo hunt. Eric had spent months training me to hunt, and feed without accidentally draining the human in the process. I was confident, I was ready, I was Vampire. I started wandering the streets blending into my surroundings. As I stood there, watching the humans walk past, I hoped that at least one would appeal to me. Everything I could see and smell reminded me of what I had left behind; it left a bitter taste in my mouth and frustrated me no end. I spent hours looking and had found nothing worth my time and energy and I was close to giving up when I heard it. Two hearts beating almost as one. TWINS!

I became excited for the first time that night at just the thought of twins, as they were practically a bargain – two for the price of one. I began following the lovely sound, allowing my imagination to run wild. They would be young and beautiful. They would be lithe and very feminine. They would allow me to feed from them, and release my growing tension. I became so focused on the sound of their hearts that I hadn’t realized I was now moving at an inhuman speed, nor did I care. I was hungry and now quite aroused at what lay ahead of me.

I was, in fact, so focused on that delicious sound that I had stopped paying attention to my other superior senses. I stopped suddenly when the heartbeats were close enough to touch. Looking around, however, I found myself very much alone in an alley. I closed my eyes briefly to try and catch any scents in the air that my prey might have left behind, when something hard hit me in the head. I was caught off guard and off-balance and ended up sitting on the ground. Whatever it was, it had knocked me on my ass. Righting myself and trying to see who had attacked me, I heard a strange sound; it sounded like a door opening – a door I couldn’t see.

I was about to turn and run back to Eric, in defeat and possibly a little fear, when a head appeared out of thin air. It was the head of a scrawny man with dark unkempt hair. I prepared to run away from this witchcraft, as I had been told to avoid witches at all costs, when the head began speaking in some foreign language. “Sannu. Ina kwana? Ina gajiya? Ya ya aiki? Yauwa! Sannu kadai!

Before I could respond to this gibberish an entire body appeared, attached to the talking head. “Oh, hello what can I do for you? Sorry about the Hausa – I thought I’d landed in West Africa but I must be a bit off course. I was about to leave when I noticed you out here,” he said. None of this was making any sense to me; he knocked me down, appeared out of nowhere talking nonsense, and was leaving again. Leaving in what?

I thought quickly. “Um, I’m Pamela Ravenscroft, and I’m, um,looking for my friends, twins; they were here a moment ago. I was hit in the head and appear to have lost them.” Just then I stopped and once again sampled the air, not believing my ears. The heartbeats that I had been following, my twins, seemed to both be coming from this scrawny British bloke in the stupid bow tie. The disappointment must have been written on my face as he looked at me and responded, “well, I am sorry that I have not seen your friends, and that I hit you with my door, but I really must be going. Good evening Miss Ravenscroft.”

I was so confused; an emotion I had disliked greatly when I was human, and now despised as a vampire. I left that alley quickly to go in search of my maker. The entire way back, I swore that I would rather go without for tonight then tell Eric what had happened. He would never let me live it down that my first time on my own I passed on countless humans only to be lured by “twins” which in reality were a crazy bloke with two separate heartbeats. The more I thought about it, the less I believed it. Eric could never find out. So I had returned, hungry and horny, to my maker.


Pam was drawn out of her musings by the voice on the phone asking if she was still there. “Oh my God! That was you? I was convinced that it never actually happened.”

“Yes, that was me, and I can assure you that it did indeed happen. You see, I too have perfect recollection, and I have been around a lot longer than you.”

Pam wanted desperately to end this call; she had had all she could take of this Doctor for one night. “Alright, so as long as you are agreeable to my requirements and demands I would like to officially offer you the position of host for the ceremony.”

“I agree to everything, is there anything else?”

“Just one more thing Doctor. If necessary I will supply you with a bucket-load of custard, stuffed full of fish fingers, fingernails and all, but my maker NEVER finds out how we first met. If he finds out, I will cram that stupid bow tie so far down your throat that you’ll have to shove that fucking screwdriver up your ass to get it out. Understand?”

“Understood. Oh, and Miss Ravenscroft, just thought you might like to know that this appears to be a fixed point in time. I was always supposed to be there. Had it on my calender for ages actually, just waiting for you to call me to set it up. I sincerely hope that you enjoy the rest of your evening. Good night, Miss Ravenscroft.”

With that he hung up and Pam just sat there a little stunned by the entire conversation. Still not entirely sure what to make of this Doctor, she chuckled to herself … Eric was going to hate him. Ha! This could be fun, as long as the little runt kept his mouth shut. Smiling, she returned to the main floor of Fangtasia in search of that evening’s entertainment and dinner.

2 thoughts on “Pam Makes A Call by MissRissa81 (One-Shot)

  1. The thought of Matt Smith (he was the current Doctor) confusing a room full of vampires & authors made me snicker continually. Then Pam running around at vamp speed trying to calm the chaos he would create had me falling off my chair laughing. Nicely written!


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